Trickles....
Virtually nothing/no one gets in, and nothing gets out.. Just like water going through a minute crack in the wall. Except this time, the water doesn't corrode the wall, making the crack bigger. Or does it? And it just keeps on getting patched up again... That's me. Well, I think so anyway.
But then, maybe not... maybe I'm not like that... I was thinking about being real. You know, showing your true colors. Letting everything in and out, leaving my life an open book. Being real, being yourself, BEING. Fine, we all wear masks, but some are just thicker and more unreal than others. Am I being real? To the people I'm with? Or am I just showing another plastic mask, thicker than what people can see through? For some reason, I couldn't accept that. I knew that wasn't the case, and if it was, the mask wouldn't be as thick, nor would anyone not see through it. So what? So maybe I'm not being real even to myself... Emotions are not something I show, and I do feel them sometimes, they even show on occasion. But more often than not, I don't think I feel. Well, at a certain level anyway. The me that is REALLY me, doesn't feel. I just feel.. I don't know.. not numb.. I just don't feel. Maybe that's why I can't open up, I can't bare it all, I can't let it all out.. maybe because there's nothing there to begin with.. just some cold unfeeling rock.
Anyway, enough of my useless musings... I missed lunch today. I actually slept through it, and I have no idea why. I felt sleepy the whole day, even if I had enough during the weekend.. it's so odd...
But then, maybe not... maybe I'm not like that... I was thinking about being real. You know, showing your true colors. Letting everything in and out, leaving my life an open book. Being real, being yourself, BEING. Fine, we all wear masks, but some are just thicker and more unreal than others. Am I being real? To the people I'm with? Or am I just showing another plastic mask, thicker than what people can see through? For some reason, I couldn't accept that. I knew that wasn't the case, and if it was, the mask wouldn't be as thick, nor would anyone not see through it. So what? So maybe I'm not being real even to myself... Emotions are not something I show, and I do feel them sometimes, they even show on occasion. But more often than not, I don't think I feel. Well, at a certain level anyway. The me that is REALLY me, doesn't feel. I just feel.. I don't know.. not numb.. I just don't feel. Maybe that's why I can't open up, I can't bare it all, I can't let it all out.. maybe because there's nothing there to begin with.. just some cold unfeeling rock.
Anyway, enough of my useless musings... I missed lunch today. I actually slept through it, and I have no idea why. I felt sleepy the whole day, even if I had enough during the weekend.. it's so odd...
8 Comments:
At 5:35 AM,
Anonymous said…
Hello Enzo, been looking for the latest info on how to meet girls and found Trickles..... Though not exactly what I was searching for, it did get my attention. Interesting post, thanks for a great read.
At 6:44 PM,
vix said…
Hi Zo! Long time no see! Well, re: your post, I think you're just missing philo class. (Joke. :p )
I can't imagine you wearing a mask. Haha. Di ka naman si Zorro. :)
Seriously though, I think we're most real with those people who unconditionally just let us be ourselves. :)
At 6:49 PM,
Enzo said…
I'm not missing philo class.. :P and besides philosophy is just thinking really.. and I do that a lot. :P
mask..we had to read something about masks in english, Mexican Masks I think was the title of the reading... wala lang..
but what about when you don't let yourself be real?
At 1:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hello Enzo, been looking for the latest info on attract beautiful women and found Trickles..... Though not exactly what I was searching for, it did get my attention. Interesting post, thanks for a great read.
At 10:37 AM,
Anonymous said…
Hello Enzo, been looking for the latest info on art of seduction and found Trickles..... Though not exactly what I was searching for, it did get my attention. Interesting post, thanks for a great read.
At 11:48 AM,
Anonymous said…
Hello Enzo, been looking for the latest info on how to seduce girls and found Trickles..... Though not exactly what I was searching for, it did get my attention. Interesting post, thanks for a great read.
At 11:48 PM,
Enzo said…
you know, we have this tendency to magnify one's own self, whether it's the bad side or the good side. Those who do it sa good side and flaunt it, mayabang na tawag dun. For those who capitalize the bad and flaunt it, masochist.. and those who don't flaunt it too.. coz you're just hurting yourself.. but there is always good.. so, hindi ka masama.. :) you're just fooling yourself... hindi ka pwede maging masama, marami ka lang pwedeng gawin (or nagawa) na masama.. pero meron ding mabuti..wag mo kalimutan! :P miss ko na rin kayo.. :) punta ako xmas ga/party i think.. :D
At 1:35 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hello Enzo, been looking for the latest info on flirting and found Trickles..... Though not exactly what I was searching for, it did get my attention. Interesting post, thanks for a great read.
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