Recurrence

I should really get out of this habit - only posting when I'm not happy. I will try soon enough... *sigh*

Actually, I have no real reason to be sad right now, well not current real reason anyway. I guess I'm just reliving a past hurt. I really don't know why I'm doing this. It all started with an e-mail... I can't describe what I'm feeling right now anymore... I try to think of how to explain it, but.. I just can't... I wish some things never happened... but, they say that these things make us stronger - if they don't kill us. Right now though, I can't really say if that's what happened. I just feel the bad feelings coming back again.

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There comes a time in one's life when things aren't as sure as everything used to seem. And after that time, everything's different again. Whether it was one's perception that changed, or everything else changed - well, that's not important. What's important is that we still survive and we still go on. But reliving, even just in the mind, those dark times, will hurt as much as it used to. Here's where forgetting comes in handy. The problem is, it's nearly impossible to forget such things.
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This just came out. Weird. My brain just told my fingers to type, and there it was. Yeesh. Talk about inspiration... Don't you think inspiration sounds so much like a positive word? Well, not really.... People are "inspired" to hurt and kill too...


I can't understand my current state... I don't know. I feel lost again. But heck, what's new? I'm always lost.. Just sometimes, I forget that I really am lost. Maybe that's how we all live our lives. There really is no direction. Maybe we're all lost. We just make things up so we forget that we really are lost. That's just sad though. I better start making things up again. Getting busy. Getting a "life" as people living on this world say.