Construction

Several posts ago, I was talking about building blocks...

How do you know you're putting the right blocks on top of each other? ....

that's where the thought ends.... weird.. there was so much before that.. anyone.. another train has arrived.. hopefully I'll be able to ride this one for a while...

When building blocks.. you don't just build one structure.. Life is more of a collection of all these structures.. You might topple a structure (completely or partially), but still have all the others. The problem is knowing when to do that.. and when to rebuild it, or when to start building a completely new structure.

Hindi ko na kaya mag-isip pa... my brain seems to be working intermittently... I have to be able to type faster.. ah well.. I'm on dial-up now, since my broadband's shot... Maybe my brain works in parallel with my internet... *sigh* I wish life was as simple and easy as building blocks...

Could you really fall in love with two people at the same time?

*This is actually a reply to a post of one of my friends

weird? no not really... loving 2 people at the same time.. yeah romantic love.. is it possible? well, I've always thought of love as a two-part thing. the feeling and the choice. The feelings.. well.. there's the shady/gray part. What do we know about feelings? Nothing. We can't control them at all. They can be suppressed from seeing the light of day, sometimes you could fool yourself into thinking that you're feeling something else, but they are still there. In this way, you can love so many people. Although, some might also THINK that they are really in love with a lot of people, but the others are just infatuations or errr.. fake. True love, in this way, I think, never fades, it just mellows down sometimes.
The other part of love is the choice to love. There's always that choice. It's not that out loud choice that says: "I will love ___". It's that deep deep choice to love. To choose. This could be why some relationships fail- there was not enough choice, not enough resolve to go through. At the first sign of love mellowing down, as I said previously, some people think: "That's it, we're done. Goodbye." But if the choice is really made, and the resolve strong, then things will work out, given that both of them are like that, "It takes two to tango". It really sucks to see one of the partners truly in love, giving his/her life for the other person, while the other person is already gone..
but what happens when you've chosen to love someone, and start to feel something for someone else? what happens, when those feelings are love? Isn't this already loving 2 people? Well, yeah slightly. But when you're truly on the edge, you don't know which way to go.. stay with your current choice.. or choose to love that new person... that's confusing. You question everything that you feel, that you've felt, that you will feel. You re-evaluate your choice, think of the pros and cons... and in the end.. you still don't know what to do. I said before that love is a 2-part thing... in this case.. is it that you love two people at the same time? Or you don't love either? Well... I don't know...

Kung Ok Lang Sa'yo

by True Faith

'Di malaman kung ano ang gagawin
Sa damdamin na 'di ko maamin
Sa sarili
Kung bakit ka pa ba nandiyan

Sabi-sabi ng mga kaibigan ko
Huwag mong pilitin ang 'di para sa 'yo
Ngunit bakit hindi kita malimutan
Sa 'yo ba'y OK lang

CHORUS:
Habang tumatagal, lumalala, laging nagwawala
Tumitindi, umiinit, sumasakit ang dibdib
Kaya ako'y gumawa ng awiting ito na alay ko sa 'yo
At sana'y pakinggan mo

Huwag ka sanang magugulat sa akin'
Di ako sanay sa ganitong suliranin
Huwag kang matakot hindi ako manloloko
Kung OK lang sa 'yo

Ngayong alam mo na, sana'y 'di ka mainis
At pasensya na kung ako ay makulit
Pero kung gusto mo, ako na lang ang lalayo
Kung OK lang sa 'yo

Kung OK lang sa 'yo

life...

I hope I'm stacking it right... How will I stack it next?

building blocks

You know those things kids play with. They stack them on each other to make stuff? I think that's how things are. I mean the stuff you do, and your life even, is just a bunch of building blocks that you're putting on top of each other. some make it wide, making sure that it won't fall, some make it tall, to get higher faster. But it's always in danger of falling down. A misplaced block, a spasm while adding a block, even if your hand or sleeve just brushes against the structure, everything can come crashing down. There are times when a small structure is left, for you to either go on with, or just scrap altogether. And sometimes, all the blocks fall, leaving nothing at all. Just blocks. Pieces of your life, your memories. Scattered. Broken. You may want to try to collect them and rebuild, but it's never the same. You won't be able to remember which block went where exactly. Or how some blocks supported others. It all makes a world of difference, especially if some blocks, just can't or don't want to be found.

mistakes

Everyone makes them, but why do I feel that I make more them? Not only more, but also worse...

Rain

I like rain.
The way it falls down, pitter-pattering on the roof.
I can't help but sit down and just watch the rain as it hits the window,
As each drop hits the pavement and explodes into little smaller ones.
It's times like these that you just want to stay in bed...
And just cuddle...
Pillows would be just fine,
But cuddling with someone special would be so much better.
You could just talk about anything and nothing at all
Just keep each other company.
A kiss here, a hug there.. keeping each other warm
Until you both just fall asleep
And then you wake up, it's still raining
You see that special someone beside you
Silently sleeping, so calm
And you can't help but smile the biggest smile you can
And realize what a lucky person you are
To be waking up next to an angel.

I like rain.
How it's so easy to think.
The soothing lullaby it makes.
How the cool breeze calms the nerves.
The way it makes you want to just lay still.

-----

It just sucks how rain is a two-edged sword, especially here in the Philippines where floods are the norm. When I was a kid, I'd always wish for rain so classes would be suspended. So that we could "take a bath" in the rain -- although that would be more of singing and dancing for us. As I got older, I loved the rain no less, but it started to get inconvenient, especially when I had to go out on a rainy day. Whenever it rained, I never wanted to leave where I was. Like staying wherever I was was the right thing to do. But thinking about all the people being affected by floods.. Houses underwater, or taken away by the flood-tides.. Lives changed and taken away.. It's depressing when you think about it that way. But life goes on. We can't do anything about what has happened, we can only do the best we can to stop it from every happening again. Anything, that happens, happens. I just thank God that it wasn't me or my loved ones and to ask Him to help those families who's lives will be forevered changed.

But on the brighter side, I really just want to hug and kiss and cuddle right now... I wish I wasn't so far in Laguna right now...

thinking thoughts

I have no real reason nor topic for this post. I just... wanted to post. I'm currently trying form another post though.. haha another utterly boring one to everyone but me. :D But hey, this blog's for me anyway.. :D

I wonder where I'll be in 5 years. I was talking to a good friend the other day and I asked her that, even if I wasn't all that sure myself. But my current errmm plan is that in 5 years, I'll already by proposing.. after 3 years in my current company and 2 years working abroad (hopefully in the US or UK) and saving up lots and lots. :D I'll need enough for that beautiful wedding ring, bongga wedding and reception, long/happy/super sarap honeymoon etc :D I'd also like some money left over for a 50% downpayment on a house (or maybe condo.. depends :D) (assuming of course that I already have a nice car :D).

---
It's raining right now. I'd so like to cuddle :D Sucks that I wasn't able to go jogging. I hope I can tomorrow morning. I so hope that the dams will start to fill up already. The drought is scary. To think that the Philippines is an archipelago. We really need to take of our environment more, and it's not just our water usage. Yesterday, I was so pissed in the morning because besides the fact that this guy was walking to where I was and stopped about a meter away while smoking (I so wanted to get the cigar and throw it away), he even threw the cigarette on the ground without putting it out. Grrrrr Sira na umaga ko nun. I was on the brink of bringing him to the ground. He was killing himself and everyone around, pati yung environment pa.. hay nako >P

Isang tulog na lang... bukas na.. hahaha :D That's all for now :D