I'm so happy!!! Finally our problem with the Guidance Office has been solved! I still hate their director though.. and all those plans that we made were for nothing.. ah well.. at least its okay.. :) Concessions have been made and the GO is gonna hold the Testings on June 11! We have to reserve venues and other things, but I'm still not sure, because I haven't been fully briefed by Anj. :D YEEEEYY!!!!
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Saturday, April 24, 2004
wow i'm 21 already.. i don't feel all that older. but still.. the fact that i'm an incoming senior.. darn.. that makes me worry more and more about my future.. is that what happens when you get older? you start thinking further and further ahead? gosh.... well anyway, my birthday was nice :) i stayed home the whole day, but a lot of people texted me(thanks to all of you!!) my girlfriend came over at around 230 and left after dinner.. micmic even passed by to drop a card from all the celadon people.. it felt great.. :D 364 days until my next special day.. (i know it's a leap year, but february's already done.. hehe :P) anyway, thanks again for everyone who greeted me! :D i love you all!! :)
Friday, April 23, 2004
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very High |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | High |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Low |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | High |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very Low |
| Level 7 (Violent) | High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Low |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Very Low |
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
Monday, April 12, 2004
hmmm I got my grades today, I wasn't happy with them but I got better greats than I orignally expected I expected two D's (maybe even an F) but, I got 2 Cs, a C+ and 3 Bs. Not too high, but still not good enough. I'll probably get another short lecture from my parents, but at least I had no Ds like the last 3 (or something like that) Sems (not including summer..) I have to do better next year. I hope I do well in the elective I'm taking this summer.. Multimedia Systems. Still thinking which teacher to take.. tran or barcelona..
hmm I hvae a summer project.. to get thin! this will also depend on my summer class sked.. coz if i have 730 classes I'll have trouble getting up in the morning (430am!) ah well.. I'll just hope fhte best tomorrow, and I hope that I'll be able to decipher what it is I want and how I'll do it...
just to add.. I even doubted my beliefs... at one point I decided not to let God decide, or let God "lead my life" and stuff like that... so confused.. i'm so lost...
hmm I hvae a summer project.. to get thin! this will also depend on my summer class sked.. coz if i have 730 classes I'll have trouble getting up in the morning (430am!) ah well.. I'll just hope fhte best tomorrow, and I hope that I'll be able to decipher what it is I want and how I'll do it...
just to add.. I even doubted my beliefs... at one point I decided not to let God decide, or let God "lead my life" and stuff like that... so confused.. i'm so lost...
Musings of a lost boy
hmmm i mentioned in my last post that I did some thinking on the bus ride home, since it was a bit serious, I decided to put it in another post... don't read this if you're just gonna pester me about it.. hehehe comment to me about it once, but that's it okay? :P btw, just for a lght start there was this nice chinese (i think) girl on the bus, she looked nice, although I think I kept on looking coz she looked liked a friend of mine from cebu.. hahaha but after a while she dind't look like her.. although every now and then when I looked she did.. hehe so weird.. anyway.. back to the musings...
wou know when there are times in your life when you really don't know what you're doing and where you're going? (hmm isn't that the midlife crisis-- but there at least something has been started) That's sort of what I felt on the ride home. Somehow lost. Lost in a world where almost everyone what they wanted, a world where people succeeded because of they willed themselves to succeed. A world where, without one's will, wihtout focus, one can easily be lost. And I feel I'm just that. I lack focus. I know what I just prioritize, I know what to focus on, but I just can't at times. I try many times to change myself, but I never am able to really do it. One time my friend who was sort of doubting himself. That he was doing a mediocre job, and that he could be replaceable, talked to me about his situation, and I told him that it doesn't matter if there were other people for the job, it was the fact that he was the one that made it so special. Of course I'd like to believe that, but, sometimes I just can't. Last night was one of those times. I give a lot of sound (and sometimes so formulaic) advice to peoply, but that night, I kept on refuting myself, doubting my own advice. I was thinking that it would be better for me to disappear from people's lives. Its not that hard really, just stop chatting for a while, stop texting, that sort of thing. I even thought about my philo class, where we discussed love as wanting to be one with another for our own perfection, which is to be one with another and God. I'll never reach that and I know I'll just pull everyone else down, so why bother? I'm just one of the "cannon fodder" in life. Those with no vision, no focus, no direction, lost, forlorn and trying to find a self that isn't really there. Who am I anyway? I don't really know... will I ever find out? that much I really doubt... Is it who I decide myself to be? maybe, but how about those who can't decide? like me? At this point in my life I was looking to my future, and to the choices that I had made in the past. I realized that mauybe math wasn't really the thing for me, although I do like that. That I do better at CS in many aspects and that I get higher grades. But it's kinda late to shift. I figured that by this point in time, although I think that, I still don't really know where I want to go and what I want to do. I just am not able to see that far into the future... I can't picture myself to be anything, and I'm kind of scared of that. I want to be able to provide for my wife and children when they come, but will be able to? At times I think that what I thinkg of is always about others, like about my wife and children, but I realize that what we discussed about self-love in philo is true: that all love that comes from man is self-love, need-love. And everything I did, it wasr eally for me. Even for wanting not to have anything to do with others because of things that I might do is not really love for them. I don't want the hassle, I want to be free of thinking of them all the time, if I had hurt them or not. But then I thought about the happy times that I spent with them, but then again I realize again that I'm being so selfish. I actually thought of a lot of things that night. I thought of going down the bus and walking aimlessly around, I thought of jumping off a building, basically suicidal things in a clear state of mind - now that's scary. Then I realized that I loved myself too much to do that, and up to now I'm still stuck with this dilemma. There are still a number of things I thought of though, and I don't quite remember them all.. these are just some of my musings.. on a bus in the dark of the night.. chilled by the aircon with everyone but me sleeping soundly, quite sure of themselves for the time being...
I'm lost, yet not... going somewhere, though I don't exactly know where.... unfocused, indecisive and weak of will... how will I ever truly be.. will I ever truly find myself, and say that I am who I really am? Will just disappear, like that night being chased away by the sun at dawn? Or will I stay, like the moon the comes and goes at it pleases, seen in the light of day, as well as the darkness of the night..
FYI I'm alright okay? no need to talk to me about this.. I'll just shrug it off, so don't even try. have a great summer everyone :D May you will find your way in this chaotic dream we call life.
hmmm i mentioned in my last post that I did some thinking on the bus ride home, since it was a bit serious, I decided to put it in another post... don't read this if you're just gonna pester me about it.. hehehe comment to me about it once, but that's it okay? :P btw, just for a lght start there was this nice chinese (i think) girl on the bus, she looked nice, although I think I kept on looking coz she looked liked a friend of mine from cebu.. hahaha but after a while she dind't look like her.. although every now and then when I looked she did.. hehe so weird.. anyway.. back to the musings...
wou know when there are times in your life when you really don't know what you're doing and where you're going? (hmm isn't that the midlife crisis-- but there at least something has been started) That's sort of what I felt on the ride home. Somehow lost. Lost in a world where almost everyone what they wanted, a world where people succeeded because of they willed themselves to succeed. A world where, without one's will, wihtout focus, one can easily be lost. And I feel I'm just that. I lack focus. I know what I just prioritize, I know what to focus on, but I just can't at times. I try many times to change myself, but I never am able to really do it. One time my friend who was sort of doubting himself. That he was doing a mediocre job, and that he could be replaceable, talked to me about his situation, and I told him that it doesn't matter if there were other people for the job, it was the fact that he was the one that made it so special. Of course I'd like to believe that, but, sometimes I just can't. Last night was one of those times. I give a lot of sound (and sometimes so formulaic) advice to peoply, but that night, I kept on refuting myself, doubting my own advice. I was thinking that it would be better for me to disappear from people's lives. Its not that hard really, just stop chatting for a while, stop texting, that sort of thing. I even thought about my philo class, where we discussed love as wanting to be one with another for our own perfection, which is to be one with another and God. I'll never reach that and I know I'll just pull everyone else down, so why bother? I'm just one of the "cannon fodder" in life. Those with no vision, no focus, no direction, lost, forlorn and trying to find a self that isn't really there. Who am I anyway? I don't really know... will I ever find out? that much I really doubt... Is it who I decide myself to be? maybe, but how about those who can't decide? like me? At this point in my life I was looking to my future, and to the choices that I had made in the past. I realized that mauybe math wasn't really the thing for me, although I do like that. That I do better at CS in many aspects and that I get higher grades. But it's kinda late to shift. I figured that by this point in time, although I think that, I still don't really know where I want to go and what I want to do. I just am not able to see that far into the future... I can't picture myself to be anything, and I'm kind of scared of that. I want to be able to provide for my wife and children when they come, but will be able to? At times I think that what I thinkg of is always about others, like about my wife and children, but I realize that what we discussed about self-love in philo is true: that all love that comes from man is self-love, need-love. And everything I did, it wasr eally for me. Even for wanting not to have anything to do with others because of things that I might do is not really love for them. I don't want the hassle, I want to be free of thinking of them all the time, if I had hurt them or not. But then I thought about the happy times that I spent with them, but then again I realize again that I'm being so selfish. I actually thought of a lot of things that night. I thought of going down the bus and walking aimlessly around, I thought of jumping off a building, basically suicidal things in a clear state of mind - now that's scary. Then I realized that I loved myself too much to do that, and up to now I'm still stuck with this dilemma. There are still a number of things I thought of though, and I don't quite remember them all.. these are just some of my musings.. on a bus in the dark of the night.. chilled by the aircon with everyone but me sleeping soundly, quite sure of themselves for the time being...
I'm lost, yet not... going somewhere, though I don't exactly know where.... unfocused, indecisive and weak of will... how will I ever truly be.. will I ever truly find myself, and say that I am who I really am? Will just disappear, like that night being chased away by the sun at dawn? Or will I stay, like the moon the comes and goes at it pleases, seen in the light of day, as well as the darkness of the night..
FYI I'm alright okay? no need to talk to me about this.. I'll just shrug it off, so don't even try. have a great summer everyone :D May you will find your way in this chaotic dream we call life.
My Pagudpud vacation...
hmmm.. why do i only write after vacations? hehe :P
anyway, i just got back this morning from my family's holy week vacation :) we left last wednesday night on an 845 bus to Laoag. It was a great bus, large comfy,reclining seats, with a CR at the back of the bus. Going to Laoag I dind't get much sleep, maybe ounly 3 hours or less,s o when we got there i was sort of dizzy.. hehe We stayed in a hotel called Northview Hotel, it was okay, not too shabby. Anyway, we spent the first day touring churches (bisita igelsia.. wehehe) The one in Sarrat was nice, a great reminder of our history during the spanish times too. The design was spanish (i think.. hehe) and ride beside it, connected by a small bridge (called a corillo) to a governemnt building (complete with a jail and torture chambers!). This was a symbol of the untiy of church and state for some time back then (or the rising to pwoer of the friars, i can't quite remember.. waheheh). We even passed by the marcos uhhmm museum? or tomb? something like that.. hehe we ate the really good (and fatty! -- with all the oil dripping on my fingers...) empanda there. And although i don't really eat longganisa (which was the meat inside) i found it very good. They also ate tinubong (which I only tasted today.. --it was good! its a shame I didn't buy more...).
The next day we went to Vigan, it was a really spanish place. All the buildings looked spanish, they were just converted/restored to fit modern day equipment. Surprisingly I met 2 people I knew (both ICA graduates.. hehe) Je (fresh grad coming to ateneo!) and Adee (my batch). So fun, although it was really hot under the sun. We went to the crisologo museum (one of the prominent families there) I didn't know so many things could happen to just one family...
The next day we went to pagudpud, the hightlight of our trip. We almost had no place to stay though.. thankfully, there was an opening at the first resort we tried.. :) We'd spend one night there. On the way there we passed by a lighthouse, I don't really know if it was used, but I was able to climb to the top (it wasn't that tall thankfully.. haha but it was really windy at the top..). Pagudpud was great, we went to Maira-ira Blue Lagoon. From the road we saw how beautiful it was and everyone started bringing out their cameras and taking pictures.. it was great! When we swam though, there was a lot of seaweed, I made a game (and exercise) of trying to throw the sea weed as far on the beach as I could, so it wouln't bother me anymore, I oft times failed though.. haha The waves were really high! as in WOW! haha :) we couldn't really swim (well really can't swim! well, float anyway) so we just jump at each oncoming wave... there were a few that were many feet over my head, it's a good thing thet salt water is denser, so bouyancy is great.. hehehe easier to jump! :) The next day we were supposed to go swimming again at the resort, but I fell asleep again after breakfast, so I didn't get to swim, oh well.. :) The doctor that was fetching us came late, but its a good thing that we reached the mass at 6, the ride was only about one and a half hours, wherein it was usually 2-3 hours.. now that's speeding! haha :)anyway, when we got back, we just went to mass, ate at mcdo and went straight to the bus.. an 845pm bus again.. same time, same bus.. :) bus no. 8.. hehe i got to watched T3 for the first time, its a shame I couldn't understand half of what was being said.. hehe oh well, and i barely got any sleep there.. at maximum only 30 minutes.. I'll be sure to sleep tonight! hehe The bus ride though was not really boring coz the driver kept on overtaking and I was silently cheering him on.. haha feel the rush! hehe but much of the time, with all the lights closed I was just thinking, or looking at the sights-- there was some sort of fiesta i think in candon... and there were places which sold fruits i think that were open at 2am, and I have no idea why..
hmmm.. why do i only write after vacations? hehe :P
anyway, i just got back this morning from my family's holy week vacation :) we left last wednesday night on an 845 bus to Laoag. It was a great bus, large comfy,reclining seats, with a CR at the back of the bus. Going to Laoag I dind't get much sleep, maybe ounly 3 hours or less,s o when we got there i was sort of dizzy.. hehe We stayed in a hotel called Northview Hotel, it was okay, not too shabby. Anyway, we spent the first day touring churches (bisita igelsia.. wehehe) The one in Sarrat was nice, a great reminder of our history during the spanish times too. The design was spanish (i think.. hehe) and ride beside it, connected by a small bridge (called a corillo) to a governemnt building (complete with a jail and torture chambers!). This was a symbol of the untiy of church and state for some time back then (or the rising to pwoer of the friars, i can't quite remember.. waheheh). We even passed by the marcos uhhmm museum? or tomb? something like that.. hehe we ate the really good (and fatty! -- with all the oil dripping on my fingers...) empanda there. And although i don't really eat longganisa (which was the meat inside) i found it very good. They also ate tinubong (which I only tasted today.. --it was good! its a shame I didn't buy more...).
The next day we went to Vigan, it was a really spanish place. All the buildings looked spanish, they were just converted/restored to fit modern day equipment. Surprisingly I met 2 people I knew (both ICA graduates.. hehe) Je (fresh grad coming to ateneo!) and Adee (my batch). So fun, although it was really hot under the sun. We went to the crisologo museum (one of the prominent families there) I didn't know so many things could happen to just one family...
The next day we went to pagudpud, the hightlight of our trip. We almost had no place to stay though.. thankfully, there was an opening at the first resort we tried.. :) We'd spend one night there. On the way there we passed by a lighthouse, I don't really know if it was used, but I was able to climb to the top (it wasn't that tall thankfully.. haha but it was really windy at the top..). Pagudpud was great, we went to Maira-ira Blue Lagoon. From the road we saw how beautiful it was and everyone started bringing out their cameras and taking pictures.. it was great! When we swam though, there was a lot of seaweed, I made a game (and exercise) of trying to throw the sea weed as far on the beach as I could, so it wouln't bother me anymore, I oft times failed though.. haha The waves were really high! as in WOW! haha :) we couldn't really swim (well really can't swim! well, float anyway) so we just jump at each oncoming wave... there were a few that were many feet over my head, it's a good thing thet salt water is denser, so bouyancy is great.. hehehe easier to jump! :) The next day we were supposed to go swimming again at the resort, but I fell asleep again after breakfast, so I didn't get to swim, oh well.. :) The doctor that was fetching us came late, but its a good thing that we reached the mass at 6, the ride was only about one and a half hours, wherein it was usually 2-3 hours.. now that's speeding! haha :)anyway, when we got back, we just went to mass, ate at mcdo and went straight to the bus.. an 845pm bus again.. same time, same bus.. :) bus no. 8.. hehe i got to watched T3 for the first time, its a shame I couldn't understand half of what was being said.. hehe oh well, and i barely got any sleep there.. at maximum only 30 minutes.. I'll be sure to sleep tonight! hehe The bus ride though was not really boring coz the driver kept on overtaking and I was silently cheering him on.. haha feel the rush! hehe but much of the time, with all the lights closed I was just thinking, or looking at the sights-- there was some sort of fiesta i think in candon... and there were places which sold fruits i think that were open at 2am, and I have no idea why..
